Kamil Lewis, LMFT

Intercourse therapist at The Expansive Group

“Particularly for girls and femmes, intercourse has been socialized to be one thing that you just do as a requirement or a necessity for the pleasure of others. For me, sexual satisfaction is about liberation from that concept. I take into consideration security: security in saying no and security in saying what I’m uncomfortable with, but additionally security to push my boundaries, discover new issues, and really feel validated in doing so.

“Experiencing that has loads to do with communication. It’s having the ability to explicitly ask for issues from a accomplice and develop language round what I like. It’s about having conversations about intercourse that really feel much less do-or-die—and extra like, we simply speak about intercourse as a result of it’s vital, and we’re validating it as one thing that deserves to really feel satisfying.”

Shadeen Francis, LMFT, CST

Author and sex educator

“Battle the urge to maneuver out of your physique and again into your head. It’s so simple for folk to be having fun with themselves and assume their method out of it. That may sound like, ‘Am I taking too lengthy? Do I look foolish? I ought to cease—I don’t wish to be grasping.’ These are all internalized messages that preserve us from that place of contentment. Sexual satisfaction asks you to permit your self to cease when you’ve gotten had sufficient to really feel good, not once you assume you need to be completed.”

Cheryl Fagan

Sexologist and founding father of On Top

“Sexual satisfaction has loads to do with the way you present up emotionally. It’s displaying up weak and able to play with out racing to a aim. Exhibiting up since you’re right here to attach, not as a result of intercourse is one thing to get finished. A quickie may be enjoyable, however sustaining satisfaction long-term means having a accomplice that’s desirous about your pleasure and isn’t simply in it for his or her personal.

“Intercourse could be a mirror for the well being of your relationship, too. What’s taking place exterior the bed room goes to influence what’s taking place within the bed room.”

Caroline Spiegel

Founding father of the audio erotica app Quinn

“Much like what I think about an artist may say about portray or an actor may say about improv, you possibly can’t be in your head criticizing your self for those who actually wish to go there. We’re so self-critical. We monitor ourselves so intently. However to expertise pleasure, it’s important to be at liberty and cozy in your physique and in your self. By yourself, that’s about masturbating and attending to know what you want, what turns you on, and what feels bodily good. With a accomplice, it’s about feeling comfy with that individual and figuring out how you are feeling about one another. Connection is the key to satisfying intercourse.”